I was feeling terrible because I had been speaking way too much English, so I decided to repent...I honestly felt and FEEL that speaking English is a sin for me right now

September 14, 2011

Dear Family

I didn’t write nearly what I wanted to in my email.  Here are a few more points.  I got Becky’s card and a letter from Grandma.  Mom—can you update my address on Facebook please?  You can put it on my wall.  Send me a picture of the family if you can, at some point.  You can send one in a letter if you send it to Nicaragua and not by pouch, I think. 

I’ve been trying to speak Spanish a lot more.  And yesterday I spoke a lot of English, which was no bueno!  But, my Spanish has improved a lot, and it still has a looooooooooooooooong way to go.  But, it will get there.  I really want to be able to understand what other people are saying to me.  That’s super difficult.  During a lesson or church it’s not quite so bad—I understand a lot.  After our lesson with Hna Ayala, she told Hna Wilkinson and I that we have the gift of tongues and she said that happened because of things like when I said I didn’t want to speak English anymore or when we pretended not to understand when someone spoke English to us.  I wish I had spoken more Spanish!  It’s hard to have self-control.  But, I’ve had good days and bad days and that will continue to be true, I’m sure.  Contacting yesterday in the street was really fun, but it was also really heard.  I don’t feel like I have nearly enough faith to do it the way God wants me to do it.  But I know the only way to be a missionary is to be like Christ and He definitely had faith.  In PMG it says he was perfectly obedient and without sin.  He was so willing to do whatever God asked him to do. 

I have to do the music stuff for the CCM – with Hna Wilkinson, and this Sunday, District Ammon sang for sacrament meeting and I accompanied them.  They sang “My Redeemer Lives” by Pres. Hinckley.  I practiced with them at lunch during the week – which was fun since they’re all Latinos and I was speaking Spanish.  I told them to sing loud and smile and to bear their testimony – since the song is a testimony.  It was great.

I have really learned a lot about repentance.  Hna Wilkinson is a good example.  Last week I was in the lab – working on TALL – the language program - and I was feeling terrible because I had been speaking way too much English, so I decided to repent.  Conveniently, there’s a section on repentance in the TALL program – so I opened that and went to the section on phrases and clicked through until I got to one that explained how we repent (so we can explain repentance to others.)  So, I repented during TALL time, and it was definitely my best use of time in TALL to date.  I honestly felt and FEEL that speaking English is a sin for me right now, and I honestly felt forgiven after praying and trying/desiring to change.

I love my district.  There’s an Elder Jackson who is so hilarious.  He just gets up sometimes and starts being funny.  He acted like a math professor once and explained why Elder + Jackson = Elder Jackson.  It was hilarious.  He always chooses the same hymn to sing – 146 “Tengo Gozo en mi Alma Hoy”.  It has become a district joke.  Our district really likes to sing  - most do & Elder Reeder always complains when someone suggests that we sing 146.  We have a theme of the day everyday.  Something short and sweet and Spanish.  Elder Reeder called dibs on creating the theme of the day for fast Sunday and wrote on the whiteboard:  Tengo hambre en mi Alma hoy.  We all thought that was fairly hilarious.  Sometimes we have trouble starting to sing, so I’ve been designated the official starter-offer.  Even though Elder Ward always has a more accurate starting pitch than I do.  Everyone insists that I start.  And when they do, I always just say porque! And then say uno, dos, tres really fast and start singing.  It’s fun.  Also, fun is when people are suggesting starting pitches.  Elder Jackson takes off his name tag and blows on the bottom – where the two sides come together and it makes a pitch.  That’s actually worked out pretty well a few times.  Elder Ward always wants to sing tenor, so he tries to start us off accurately or maybe a little higher.   And then Elder Reeder will let out a really low note.  He ALWAYS sings a full octave lower than everyone else.  And Elder Urmston pretends like he doesn’t like to sing, but he really does.   Our elders have a lot of faith.  And so does Hna Wilkinson.  They all know that the Lord will help them teach, speak, and become someone better.  Last night we had a testimony meeting based on the devotional we heard last night.  It was way awesome.  Elder Jackson talked about having faith in Christ – he has an awesome testimony.  He struggles a lot with Spanish, but he was able to contact people yesterday.  Elder Liljenquist talked about how much he has changed and how he knows he can change more – and he likes that he can change - and how he has changed.  Elder Urmston talked about repentance and how  good it feels to be clean and forgiven and how he is excited to repent more because it feels so good.  Elder Ward & Elder Parmer talked about how the Spirit is the real teacher, and we have to get out of the way.  Christ must increase and we must decrease.  Elder Reeder bore his testimony of how Christ can help us and comfort us.  Hna. Wlkinson bore her testimony that we have to rely on God in order to do this work.  I bore my testimony that I know we can change, and we can become better.  I will be sad to say goodbye.  I never like saying good-bye .  Let me know how/what you are all doing.  I love you all.  I’m so grateful for this time I’ve had in Guatemala.  It’s definitely been a gift.   I love Guatemala.  I love the temple here!  I love the CCM.  And I love you all too!  

Love, Hermana Tew