...when I don´t follow the Spirit, I feel like crap.

 Service is awesome.

Dear Family,
 I love you all!  I´m so grateful for your love and support.  I know you are praying for me all the time.  In Provo at the MTC, one of the devotional speakers told us that the mission is really for ourselves.  He told us to let the Lord mold us on our missions.   I need lots of molding.
   I felt a lot of failure this week.  I think a lot of it stemmed from my relationship with my companion.  I feel a lot of intimidation.  So, when I have an idea of what we should do, I don´t act on it or tell her because I´m kind of afraid of her.  This just leads to more problems though because that means I´m not following the spirit,  And when I don´t follow the Spirit, I feel like crap. 
    I have tried to talk more this week. But I feel like I´m failing at that too.  I know Satan uses discouragement against us, and I´m feeling it.  But yesterday we fasted to have a better companionship, and there is a difference. We fasted to have baptisms this month and to find the people that God has prepared for us.  I know this week is going to be better.  This morning we were with the Elders and I felt like I should contact the security guard at the Bank, so I did.  Even though it was Pday and Hna. Castro was there and the Elders too.  I felt so great afterward.  
   I know I should contact a lot more.  Contact everyone!!  Dad I liked what you said about having a quality contact rather than overcoming bashfulness.  It´s hard for me because everyone tells me that I have to talk more and my district leader asked me if I had many friends before my mission.  I was like, yes I had friends.  Not a lot...not a few...  I guess I feel judged a lot.  Oh well. I´m tall, white, and I don´t talk very much.  People are going to judge me.  I am trying to think less about myself and more about my investigators.  I need to think about Jesus more too.  I just feel really imperfect. I guess I should get used to the feeling and just rely on the Lord a lot more.   Here are some cool things that have happened.  
We had a multi-zone conference last week in San Dino.  It was great!  There were some really awesome workshops and talks.  Each of the three zones put on a theatrical work.  Ours was good!  I said 5 words haha. My lines were really funny and everyone laughed at them.  The people in our zone are good actors and they made it a lot a lot a lot of fun.  I was a grandma.  It was about the 2000 stripling warriors. 
Sorry If I sound super depressed in my emails.  I think I do.  I just have my up moments and down moments.  But this past week was kind of rough. 
I got about 14 or 15 letters last week!  Everyone is always amazed at how much mail I receive.  I got some letters that arrived at the CCM.  I got the Dear Elder from Sara Bingham (thanks! it was great to hear from you!)  Anyone can email me btw.  I just can´t email them.  I got pictures from Kevin and Cheryl´s visit in Wyoming.  I got a letter and pict. from Mary Katherine and a letter from Rebecca.
     This week two of our investigators came to church.
Our area is becoming part of the North mission.  this means that we are getting transferred to Masatepe (yo creo no estoy segura como se escribe)  I am sad to leave our Investigators and recent conversos.
    Yesterday we had divisiones and the District Leaders interviewed one of our investigators, Griselda, for baptism.  It took two hours.  She has many many many many problems.  But she passed the interview.  Last Monday, we went over to her house with Francis, who is 15 years old and knows how to cut hair.  Francis cut Griselda´s hair.  Her hair had a HUGE mat or something like that.  We cut the matted hair into like 4 parts, used conditioner and combed like crazy.  It took about 2 hours to comb all her hair.  We talked to her a little about how to take care of her hair.  I think Griselda feels a lot of love from us, and I know she loves Francis too.  Service is awesome. 
      A miracle:  We were talking in our district meeting about one of our investigators Felix who knows everything about the gospel and has refused a baptismal date at least twice.  He knows JS was a prophet.  We had a practice.  Hna Monestel was my comp. and we taught Elder Bailey and Hna Castro pretending to be Felix and his wife, Suje. The practice went okay and there were some really great suggestions.  One of them was to focus more on Suje.  Suje is almost never present she´s behind curtains in bed. She´s pregnant and kind of cranky sometimes. That day, later, I suggested that we stop by Felix´s to see if he prayed about baptism.  We stopped by....a little boy a sobrino or primo or something said that only he and Suje were there.  Hna. Castro just looked at me like Yeah, go.  So we came in and Hna Castro asked about what she was doing.  Suje said she was working on her English homework and she was having trouble.  Well, why don´t you let my comp help you!?  Sweet!  So, I helped Suje with her homework and talked to her about learning Spanish and how English doesn´t make any sense.  It was fun.  Later, Flor and Narciso, Suje´s mom and dad who live there too and we just baptized last month, came and then Felix.  We shared a scripture about family prayer from 3 Nephi, committed them to have family prayer and had a prayer with all of them. I'm grateful our DL Elder Carcamo had us practice and that he was thinking about our investigator and how he could help us.  I´m sure that district meeting and practice were inspired.
Okay, I´m feeling a little better now.  I really liked the conference talk about looking up and the other about looking back at how far you´ve come.  One of my entries in my miracle book was that I contacted people in the streets in Spanish without the help of a companion all by myself.  And really that is a miracle. Even though it happens every time we have divisions, it´s a miracle EVERY time. Thanks, Heavenly Father!